22 November 1990
Banned at number one! I am pretty sure, and I’m happy to be corrected on this, that at some point in its heyday this song was not being played on the usual 2FM outlets like the chart show, The Beat Box or The Hotline. I’ll go into the reason for this further on. First, who were these maverick outlaws, these public enemies at number one?
Well, you surely know Paul McGrath: imperious centre-half, national treasure, our most beloved footballer ever, The Man Who Gave His Knees For Ireland. Yes, he appears on this record, in a spoken-word section—I won’t call it a John Barnes-style rap—that’ll only make you love the guy all the more. He was already thoroughly deserving of a tribute record even in 1990, a full four years before he took on Italy in Giants Stadium, perhaps the greatest-ever performance by an Irish player.
Watch Your House, named after what Dubliners shout at a defender they suspect doesn’t see a lurking opposition striker, were essentially Maria Walsh and Carole Nelson, better known on the Irish music scene as experimental jazz-electro duo Zrazy who are still active today. With them on this record are guitarist Conor Brady, of Irish bands including The Revenants, and Paul Cleary as a backing singer, making this the second time he appears on an Irish number one single. The track is an old-school house banger, full of energy and fun, and featuring fine lead vocals by Walsh. Refreshingly, the lyrics (by Nelson, as per the sleevenotes) are patently the work of someone who likes both football and the English language; around 95% of football songs are written by people who you suspect like neither. Also refreshing is a football record sung by a woman; we still need more female lead voices in Irish sport.
Then the whole gang join in on the chorus, which is where the problems start and the de facto ban kicks in. The terrace chant of “Ooh aah, Paul McGrath! I said, ooh aah, Paul McGrath!” (or “Ooh aah, Cantona!” or whatever footballer scans for you) is generally sung to the tune of ‘Oops Upside Your Head’ by The Gap Band, who do not have a credit on the sleeve of this record. So, my memory of what happened next is that the national broadcaster held off from playing the single, presumably until various sets of ‘people’ had the necessary chats. I’m sure it was all settled, but personally I’d prefer the outlaw glamour of having my record banned at number one. Whatever way you want to look at it, all credit to the front two of Zrazy; this is the best Irish football record ever.
