21 April 1995
After Take That and East 17 had already released a few self-penned songs, here’s Boyzone finally getting around to original material. ‘Key To My Life’ is their first non-cover single, and includes co-writing credits for Ronan, Stephen and Mikey. Suffice it to say that, on the evidence here, none of those three are on a par with Gary Barlow, Tony Mortimer, or even the two East 17 lads standing at the back.
‘Key To My Life’ is a cheap, maudlin affair which pulls off the dubious trick of being both bland and ugly. Its music and production slather on the buttery ’70s schmaltz-bucket sound. The song is a random generator of sad-making phraselets, plus some that were clearly home-made: the pre-chorus line where Ronan Keating tells us how “my face began to frown” is one of the worst pop lyrics of any ’90s number one. This crap got signed off because as long as it was official Boyzone product, the fanbase would dependably buy ‘Key To My Life’ sight-unseen and sound-unheard; it simply didn’t need to be a good record, so why bother? A number one single was now just one of many sales KPIs for the Boyzone catalogue of fan merchandise. The cynicism would almost make you cry – or as per the ‘Key To My Life’ idiolect, your face would begin to shed tears.
