29 August 1999
It sounds obvious now, but I didn’t realise at the time that this was essentially Perez ‘Prez’ Prado of ‘Guaglione’ Guinness ad fame scoring his second Irish number one of the ’90s, garnished with some Euro-disco effects and leery lyrics. But yes, ‘Mambo No. 5’ ploughs the ‘Guaglione’ furrow until it hits the bedrock of ‘Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini’: novelty record for the enforced jollity of office parties and for the sort of guys who think they’re ladies’ men and gas crack. I despise it.
Its catchiness is a function of its naff, crass cheapness: repeat the same phrase ad nauseum but with the novelty of different girls names, around half of which will be shared with any random workplace or family. (The then-topicality of the name Monica surely also helped.) It’s all great fun until you stop and realise its chorus is a sleazebag’s licence to objectify women as disposable skirt. Bega is a sort of bargain basement Shaggy, telling us and himself he’s a player but sounding all the sadder because of it. Prado’s mambo is just an energy source from which Bega’s sex pest can leech some form of forward momentum. Behold the soundtrack to the office Christmas party from hell.
