23 March 2002
Oh great, it’s ‘Unchained Melody’ again.
Look, I have no problem with the principle of TV talent show personalities; after all, this time next chart-year we’ll see the greatest pop act of the decade, who go on to sing the most exciting and innovative chart pop music of the decade, all thanks to a UK TV talent show. Gareth Gates wasn’t even the winner of 2002’s UK Pop Idol, and he seems like a decent guy, so good luck to him for surfing that wave of popular interest and making a career for himself. I don’t even get het up at the regular versions of ‘Unchained Melody’ that arrive like buses. Any chart pop act would almost be a fool not to try their own cover version, and I’m perfectly capable of ignoring it.
My problem is with you. You, who keep buying every version of ‘Unchained Melody’ so that it’s always a no-brainer hit. What do you see in even the most insipid cover of this dreadful, maudlin, schmaltzy song? Are you some sort of ‘Unchained Melody’ über-fan or completist? Who are you?
Not that Gareth Gates would have sooner released some fresh new Xenomania four-chorus pop banger here. He sang ‘Unchained Melody’ en route to being voted into the Pop Idol final, so he and his record company are naturally meeting popular demand. Poor Gareth simpers his way obligingly through it, the music and production are as flimsy and perfunctory as on the Robson and Jerome mega-hit version, and you bought it anyway. Here, have your ‘Unchained Melody’.
