15 June 2002
Housekeeping note: Yes, I intend to go back and do the Irish number ones of the 1960s and ’70s. I started with the ’80s partly on a whim, partly because the data is more reliable, but also from fond memories of the ’80s chart pop of my childhood, little realising I would instead descend into a septic tank of Shakin’ Stevens and solo Beatles. Then, kicking on to the ’90s, I hoped for the Britpop and trip hop of my teens but got served power ballads and Boyzone. The ’00s, where we are now, are home to a genuine renaissance in chart pop, but little of it at number one: fellow fans of Xenomania-fuelled bangers are in for a shock. All that is to say that once I click off 2009 I’ll decide if I go back to the sixties and seventies or plough on to the 2010s, decade of ‘Dance Monkey’. (Should you have strong feelings or stern advice on the matter, feel free to comment here or ping me at @irishnumberones on my socials.)
I mention the above here and now because 1962, the year the official Irish singles chart begins, will feature a lot of Elvis Presley. Those of you familiar with the seven ages of Elvis will know that 1962 is post-army but pre-Vegas: naff and cornball but without the saving grace of rhinestone kitsch; Elvis as American Daniel O’Donnell. All of a sudden ‘Dance Monkey’ feels doable.
This 2002 Elvis reflux at number one is immediately attributable to a World Cup ad for swoosh-branded sportswear – the ad in which Eric Cantona oversees a caged three-a-side tournament in the hold of a ship. In truth, we Irish should own up to some moral culpability here: David Holmes had brought ‘A Little Less Conversation’ back into polite society the year before as part of his soundtrack to all-star Vegas heist-flick remake Ocean’s 11. So yes, the track is Vegas Elvis: almost a comedy record, upper lip audibly curled into a wry smirk, all lyrics sounding like “hubba hubba hubba”. Listening through Elvis’s Elvis impersonation, you’ll hear the beery sexism of “Close your mouth and open up your heart, baby, satisfy me” that appealed greatly to ’00s lads-mag culture. Dutch remixer JXL actually trades as Junkie XL but you can understand why that would be an unwanted association for the estate of Richard Nixon’s badge-carrying honorary anti-drugs enforcer Elvis Presley. He loops the riff, adds out-of-the-box beats and squeaks, then sends the invoice to Graceland.
So, ‘A Little Less Conversation’ is cartoonish Elvis gift-shop tat which meets the modern chart-topper brief of ad tie-in hit and that particular early-’00s strain of banter hit. Of course, all Elvis records are now cartoonish Elvis gift-shop tat. Votes for me going back to do 1962 are now closed.
