22 December 2005
Ireland’s 2005 Christmas chart-topper was the fifth Irish number one to either feature or mention Roy Keane. Not since the 1979 visit of Pope John Paul II (with only three number ones) had a well-known personality so dominated our pop-cultural discourse. Two of those Roy-related number ones were Irish World Cup squad songs; in the 2002 song he was the only player mentioned by name. More tellingly, the other three were comedy songs: ‘Man Utd Man’, ‘The Langer’, and this. Roy, and Royism, and the cult of Roy, had become prime material for banter, and the ’00s in particular were high times for bantz on the airwaves, be it in radio presenters’ between-track blather or on the tracks themselves.
Like any comedy song, this version of a previous Irish number one needs a fair bit of context today. By the end of 2005 Roy had returned to the Ireland squad post-Saipan but, perhaps showing what psychotherapists call transference, his relationship with Man United had begun to deteriorate. New contract talks led the United board and the owning Glazer family to imply an increase in ticket prices was due to Roy’s wage demands. The subdued atmosphere at big Champions League games was blamed by Roy on the “prawn sandwich brigade” in the cushy corporate boxes, a turn of phrase which proved remarkably sticky. Finally, in late-October 2005 an injured Roy gave a scathing interview to Man United’s in-house TV channel on the team’s performance for a league defeat in his absence; the interview named names and was pulled from broadcast. This was the straw that broke the prawn’s shell; United duly told Roy to get his hat. Mario Rosenstock’s daily Gift Grub slot on Today FM already featured regular Roy material, and ‘Leave Right Now’ is a précis of the late-2005 Roy situation in song.
So, you know what you’re getting here: Mario as his tremulous Roy, with the lyrics of a recent hit updated for comic effect. The original ‘Leave Right Now’ was already turbo-charged with that dramatic chorus swell. What helps this version stick the landing is its excellent chorus rhyme of “leave all the prawns and the blazers” with “before it dawns on the Glazers”. Other than that, there isn’t much here for non-fans of football or bantz. As I’ve said here often, a number one single is more a signifier of pop culture than pop music. Still, all credit to Mario: I’ll happily take this comedy record as our Christmas number one over Eminem or ‘Fairytale Of New York’.
