10 July 1970
I admit: I’m a wee bit disappointed that ‘Goodbye Sam, Hello Samantha’ is not Cliff’s take on trans “issues”, if only because it denies the world what could have been the most spectacularly offensive and disastrous pop song ever. Turns out that going from Sam to Samantha, Joe to Joanne and Lou to Louise is Cliff’s way of telling his male gang of fellow rough-and-tumble macho lads that instead of shooting his load on traditionally masculine pursuits like pool, fishing and “easy riding” he’s now devoting his time to chasing women – or as he charmingly puts it: “Girls are waitin’ in line […] I’m goin’ out and I’m gonna get me some”. Ladies love it, and no doubt Cliff’s God is cool with it too.
There’s still plenty that’s awful about ‘Goodbye Sam, Hello Samantha’, of course. After all, this is still a Cliff Richard record; creepy blankness and rictus-grin inanity are a given. Also, it ploughs on with the ‘Congratulations’ style of bouncy, parping, Euro-tripping cabaret schlager, though with the UK’s own brand of cheap bubblegum pop dried on and stuck to its underside. Goodbye Pat, hello pathetic.
