20 July 1972
Dr Hook isn’t a person but the collective name of the band. Sylvia and her mother are real-life people, though. ‘Sylvia’s Mother’, alas, is also real.
Off-stage, Sylvia is happily packing for her future, about to catch the train to Galveston to get married there. Her mother, justifiably, has little time for the wheedling, whiny caller—our narrator—who can’t let go or take “fuck off” for an answer. Also irritated by all this: the old-time telephone operator who interjects with a hint that this is costing him money and us patience. As with all right-minded people who’ve had to listen to this dreadful country-rock ballad, I’m on #TeamSylvia, and anyone who rejects Dr Hook like an unsuitable organ donation is alright by me. Unfortunately, this shower will call back to the top of the Irish charts again later in the ’70s. There is still no known vaccine.
