14 April 2011
Pitbull: as if Conor McGregor and Vin Diesel had a child together but never showed it love. Normally at the first huff of his dour, humourless, sexist, talentless grunting I change my radio station to something more appealing, like the death notices. So, I’m only vaguely familiar with ‘On The Floor’ as the J. Lo single which uses the tune from late-’80s Euro-disco hit ‘Lambada’, which itself (in true late-’80s Euro-disco style) uses the tune from an earlier record without giving due credit until a stern corporate tap on the shoulder from someone’s ‘legal’. Again, I hear the local radio death notices calling me, calling me.
As for this single’s actual star, Jennifer Lopez could do the glossy chart-bait R&B-pop of ‘On The Floor’ in her sleep and is probably doing so here. Pitbull’s shout-out at the start to RedOne, producer of this and Lady Gaga’s megahits, explains the mail-order EDM techno harshness, and the pre-chorus reference to “Ibeeza” inevitably leads to trance. The ‘Lambada’ accordion line feels even more like a “world” music bauble culturally appropriated and thrown in lazily for familiarity’s sake. Then we get a Guetta-style build that drops us into a Black Eyed Peas-flavoured “la la la” iteration of that ‘Lambada’ hook. J. Lo’s big-stepping energy remains likeable enough through this, but those other components make ‘On The Floor’ a harsh, gaudy chore: lam-bad-a.
Irish Number Ones 