14 April 2011 Pitbull: as if Conor McGregor and Vin Diesel had a child together but never showed it love. Normally at the first huff of his dour, humourless, sexist, talentless grunting I change my radio station to something more appealing, like the death notices. So, I'm only vaguely familiar with 'On The Floor' as … Continue reading Jennifer Lopez ft. Pitbull – ‘On The Floor’
Tag: 10s
Lady Gaga – ‘Born This Way’
17 February 2011 Here we are again: another of those gargantuan early-'10s Lady Gaga hits. The blaring, overproduced, identikit, corporate-level EDM track at the centre of all this event-release, expensive-video foofaraw is bland, cliched, and fatuous. Anyone at the time who recalled Madonna's 'Express Yourself'—and 'Born This Way' certainly helps to jog memories in that … Continue reading Lady Gaga – ‘Born This Way’
Jessie J ft. B.o.B. – ‘Price Tag’
10 February 2011 Tempting as it is to read social commentary into an Irish number one single of 2011 with the chorus "We don't need no money, money, money", 'Price Tag' isn't your zeitgeist-capturing anthem of troika-era Ireland. Instead, it shares with 'Imagine' that timeless lack of self awareness in which a big-budget pop track … Continue reading Jessie J ft. B.o.B. – ‘Price Tag’
Bruno Mars – ‘Grenade’
13 January 2011 Content warning: self-harm It's not just our (hopefully) more enlightened sensibilities - already in 2011 Bruno Mars' chorus litany of angsty, performative self-harm came across as overwrought and crass, even by the shirt-rending benchmarks of '90s US R&B balladry and the asinine skidmarks of '00s US hip-hop-diluting chart hits. And his gripe … Continue reading Bruno Mars – ‘Grenade’
Matt Cardle – ‘When We Collide’
16 December 2010 A year after the 'Killing In The Name' eejitry of Christmas 2009, had everyone copped themselves on? Not at all. It kicked off again for Christmas 2010 when that year's X Factor winner's single, this retitled cover of Biffy Clyro's 'Many Of Horror', was greeted with another online campaign: get the original … Continue reading Matt Cardle – ‘When We Collide’
The X Factor Finalists 2010 – ‘Heroes’
25 November 2010 You Irish people of 2010 must have really loved the British Army, since this is the second charity fundraiser for injured British military personnel that you sent all the way to the top of the charts in Ireland—my country—in two years. I had emigrated then, as all true sons and daughters of … Continue reading The X Factor Finalists 2010 – ‘Heroes’
Rihanna – ‘Only Girl (In The World)’
4 November 2010 I remember the spectacular skyscraping chorus of 'Only Girl (In The World)' but not much else of it. That's me having listened to it just now, by the way, not casting my mind back to 2010. Scrunching up my face and listening another time really, really hard, the verses here could be … Continue reading Rihanna – ‘Only Girl (In The World)’
Cheryl – ‘Promise This’
28 October 2010 It might seem unfair to suggest that the only explanatory factor for 'Promise This' topping the Irish and UK charts was the celebrity status of its singer, as seen on prime-time TV every Saturday night and in the gossip-hungry tabloid press all the other days of the week. For one thing, the … Continue reading Cheryl – ‘Promise This’
Bruno Mars – ‘Just The Way You Are’
7 October 2010 Remember when Bruno Mars was a fresh, exciting new act? Hah! Trick question. Yes, unlike the latter-day Martian retro soul schtick, its faddish-for-2010 mix of beats and piano make 'Just The Way You Are' sound like it was made by people who acknowledge the existence of pop music made after 1975. Otherwise, … Continue reading Bruno Mars – ‘Just The Way You Are’
Tinie Tempah ft. Eric Turner – ‘Written In The Stars’
30 September 2010 My long-standing modus operandi here vis-à-vis 'inspirational' tracks is that I don't knock or begrudge anyone for getting inspiration from something. Here in October 2023 as I write this, the world is being even more relentlessly dreadful than usual: take any inspiration or solace you can get, is what I say. What … Continue reading Tinie Tempah ft. Eric Turner – ‘Written In The Stars’
